i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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