plz talk dirty to me
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
