that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think people are normalizing furries
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
