I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
