i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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