Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
