babies were throwing up all over the place
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
