She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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