This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
