yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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