I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
My ATM looks so different sober.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
be right there i have to get my cape
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
