the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
