i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
These tits shall not be calmed
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
