apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
