Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
