when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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