he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
