"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
