Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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