Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
jump out the window naked night went bad
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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