so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
What drink are we having for lunch?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Randomize
