They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
