Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
