I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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