I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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