I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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