I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
