I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
