I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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