as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
my liver is dry heaving
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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