Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
