how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
