Me too!
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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