i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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