Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
