this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
