the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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