mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
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