Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
