this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
