her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
