We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
