So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Randomize
