Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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