It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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