I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
