Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
