Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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