DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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