was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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