My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
