Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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