sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
