oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
