He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
